A Complicated Story of Doing You
by Dr Megalomania
Summary: Heero and Relena are "trapped in a lift" together. I'm sure they'll thank Duo for it later. Another story set in the unfortunately named "Doing" series.


_Disclaimer_: I won't insult your intelligence, you know the score.

_Rating_: PG

_Warnings_: Mild use of foul Language.

_Notes_: Another character thing, I want to work on Relena. She's been a major target of hate for me, and it took Twilight for me to recognise how unfair I'd been about Relena. I mean, at least she's not going after a Sparkle Vampire, amirite? As with the previous stories, A Subtle Way of "Doing Him", A Simple Tale of "Doing Him" and A Serious Tale of "Doing Something", this is set comfortably after the Mariemaia wars. I know I mention some modern day things, but I figure some things never go out of style.

_Synopsis_: Heero and Relena find themselves "trapped in a lift" together.

_Category_: Mild gayness at the most. A little bit of het flirting. Vague humour. Some angst. A little well-meant fandom bashing.

_Definitions_:

**Do Him/Her**. Emphasis on "do"._ Doooo hi'm/h'er_

The encouragement of obeying apparent sexual desire. To skip over senseless/over elaborate romantic gestures/setting and head straight into HAWT sexual relations. _Often used by yaoi/yuri fangirls, annoyed by elaborate angst riddled plots, when the obvious answer to all characters' problems would be a good session engaged in sexual activity._ 1. Just DO him. 2. Will you get over yourself, and DO her! 3. You should tie him up and DO him!

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><p><strong>A Complicated Story of "Doing You"<strong>

By Doc Megalomania

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><p>Finally, her patience snapped.<p>

"I think that you ought to know that I want you to know he told me that he thought that I would like to tie you up and do you." Her blue eyes narrowed, her voice was calmly levelled and concerned at the same time. "And that he thought that you would think that I would think that you would enjoy it."

Initially, they had tried the lift emergency phone. It had crackled a couple of times, letting them know that someone had heard them but after the first half an hour both the phone and the tinny music had come to a stop. The emergency lights had remained on, bathing them both in a soft golden glow. Relena was pacing the small area, while Heero had sat down. He looked ready for the long night ahead of them.

Heero's sigh was very long, and his expression was very dour. He did not look surprised. He pursed his lips, and his gaze was far away as he shook his head slowly. A brief fond smile flitted over his lips before he finally spoke. "That idiot."

"I also want you to know that right now, right this moment, in fact..." Relena squinted at him. She was working very hard to remain calm and understanding. "I'm missing dinner with Dorothy for this... this fantastic idea of his." She paused in her pacing, calmly clasping her hands behind her back and pierced him with bright eyes. "I want you to know that this makes me very upset." She looked around and shivered. "How long do you think it's going to take for them to fix the lift?"

He looked at his watch and shrugged. "Oh, hours." He was so unconcerned, sitting on the opposite side of the small, dim box. His feet were crossed at the ankles and his arms were folded. He glanced toward her, elaborating at her look of concern. "Duo's good with sabotage. When they figure out what he's done, it will be a matter of minutes to fix, but they won't figure out what he's done for hours." He tilted his head thoughtfully, "You might as well get comfortable."

She shook her head and continued pacing for another half an hour. She paused only to remove the pair of heels she'd put on for the dinner and resumed her pacing. She'd chosen her clothes with care tonight, and she was being very careful not to get too rumpled. She clearly held out some hope that they would be rescued soon. Heero shook his head; she clearly did not know Duo very well. "Relena, I do mean it. You should try to get comfortable."

"Comfortable in a lift?" Relena relented and finally sank down to the floor. She took some care to arrange her clothes before a thought came to her. She opened her purse. She rifled through it before frowning. She began to empty the bag on the floor. Various things clattered out, and Relena sifted through the bottles of perfume and hair accessories. Her frown deepened.

"Hn." Heero shook his head. "It's gone."

She looked up at him. "What?"

"Your phone. It's gone. So is mine." He tilted his head toward the emergency phone, "There's a reason it's dead too. We can't communicate out."

"Dare I ask why Duo would be thinking that this would be a really good idea to be doing this to us?" Relena slowly began putting things back into her purse. She had so much stuff. Heero watched with some mild interest before he answered.

"Because Duo thinks that I love you." He said calmly, "And he thinks you love me too."

"Does he... what? He... why?" Relena began spluttering until Heero's look turned bemused. "Oh shut up, we were fifteen!" She pushed her fringe out of her eyes and huffed. Her light blush forced a snort out of Heero and she continued, "Anyway, putting that aside, why would he do it now?"

"He's on a roll." Heero smiled slightly. "Trowa and Quatre." He frowned slightly, "... I think he thinks he cracked Wufei too."

"Oh, I heard from Une about Trowa and Quatre." Relena looked delighted. "I mean, I thought it was so cute, I mean, they totally were meant to be together ever since the wars." She gave a happy sigh, and clasped her hands together. "It's so wonderful."

Heero nodded, "It did gave me back my lazy boy."

"You what now?" She swiftly cut herself off and shook her head, "No. I know. Gundam. It's always a Gundam joke if I don't understand the reference. It's like Wufei and his boat. Whatever the hell that means."

Heero stretched and shifted. He looked at her, "So how's other things?"

"You're asking me how I am now?" Relena chuckled quietly, her sarcasm was biting. "Oh wow, the changes peace have brung."

"Need I remind you we're going to be here together for ... well, what might be many more hours?"

"Oh wow, Duo Maxwell is such a dead man." Her voice was deadpan. Relena shrugged, she raised a hand and absently scratched her head. "I don't know. Fine? Busy. Really busy. How's being a preventer? How's things with that kind of thing?"

"That kind of thing?" Heero echoed, even though he understood how difficult she was finding it. Relena's job did not really allow her to catch up with the work of the preventers as much as he was able to keep up with hers. He shrugged, "Stopped a terrorist cell last week, got to blow up some things."

"Really? That's good." She made a face and held up her hands in a confused motion, "Is that good? I'm talking bullshit. I don't know."

"Bullshit?" Heero commented quietly, he chuckled, "You never used to swear."

"You never used to laugh, you tool." She shrugged out of her coat and bunched it up. She sat on it, and sighed deeply. "We're what, 24? I spent the years I was supposed to be getting drunk and partying being the Queen of the World." Relena folded her arms and looked away from him. "I'm allowed to swear a bit when I'm not on TV and am with friends." She motioned around the room, her voice taking a bitter edge, "And apparently when I'm stuck in a lift because your crazy partner thinks that you can be convinced to break down and confess your love for a girl you used to protect when we were freaking fifteen years old! Did I mention I have a dinner date with Dorothy? I mean, oh wow! Duo is fucking dead, I'm going to shoot his pompous ass and you're questioning my ability to swear?"

Heero nodded, "Yeah, ok. I suppose."

"That fucking tool!" She shook her head, running out of steam. A comfortable silence fell between them before she huffed again and squinted at him. "So he's on a roll, huh?"

"Duo? Yeah." Heero shrugged, "He managed to get Trowa to tell Quatre he loves him, Quatre to stop being oblivious. It really was quite remarkable the way he played them both." He tilted his head, thinking for a long moment. "So, uh, when did he managed to get a chance to tell you to uh—"

"Tie you up and do you." Relena clapped a hand over her eyes, "Oh, it was over breakfast the other day. He wanted to ask me something and had arranged it." She looked impressed for a moment, stroking her chin. "He must have been waiting months." She paused when she caught Heero's frown. "What?"

"Months?"

"I have a waiting list you will not believe. I've been booked solid for lunches and events and just oh wow, everything." Relena gave a self depreciating smile. "I think he's been planning this. He must have been planning this very moment for months, maybe even years." She looked at the former Wing pilot, "Didn't you know? From what I hear, you practically live with him anyway."

"Practically live with Wufei too, but I've hardly got a good understanding what's going on in either of their heads. They just come and go from my apartment, leaving their food and magazines all over the place." Heero's expression hardened for a moment, "Seriously need to do something about my locks."

"I presumed they had a key." Relena paused as Heero levelled a look at her. "Ok, maybe not Duo. Well, maybe Wufei has a key..." She shook her head and waved her hands, "Anyway, Duo must have been planning this for months. Do you think he planned to trap us in a lift together like this?"

"He must have," Heero agreed. He closed his eyes and said calmly, "I'm going to have to kill him. There's no other answer."

She laughed freely at this. "Aw, I bet you say that to everyone." She looked at her nails and a thought crossed her mind. "You'll have to get there first, of course." She looked up and grinned brightly. "I'm going to take his pompous ass and put him in a meat grinder and feed him to fucking orphans."

Heero cracked an eye open, he stared at her for a long moment. She stared back at him before huffing.

"Ok, maybe not the orphans bit, but I am going to kill him if he makes me miss dinner with Dorothy. I've only got an hour left."

"What happened to the total pacifist?"

"The total pacifist is going to missing her dinner." Relena replied, enunciating each word clearly.

Heero looked at her sideways for a moment, an unsure look flashing over his dark blue eyes. "And Dorothy?"

"Shut up." Relena's eyes met his hotly. "Just shut up."

The long silence stretched out between them. Relena just looked at the floor, losing herself in the faded pattern. It was warm in the lift, the light was dim. The walls were a strange metallic and their reflections were blurred. Relena sighed and wondered how long Duo thought they would need to sit there and get together. She glanced at Heero, catching him staring at her like he was thinking about her, processing her like she was a page of data. She tried to shrug it off, looking at her nails again. She pressed her lips together tightly. "What?"

He half shrugged and then turned his honest eyes on her. "Does Dorothy know?"

Stretching out her hand to look at her nails at a different angle, Relena smiled faintly to herself, "She likes to think so."

"Ah, I know that." Heero nodded. He looked at Relena. The years had not been kind to her. She was thinner than she should have been; tired circles under her eyes. Despite his promises to look after her, he knew there were some things that he couldn't protect her from. Long nights of negotiations, long weeks of arguments and politics. She was a busy person and his work as a preventer often meant they were far apart. Her hair was still beautiful, and clearly Dorothy's influence could be seen. Relena had taken to intricate plaits in her hair and incredible lacy patterns in her clothes. She looked wonderful, but exhausted at the same time. Her blue eyes were narrowed when he raised his eyes back up to her.

"What?" She said bluntly.

"I was just—You look tired."

"Thanks." She replied sarcastically, "No really, just what a girl likes to hear." She waved at him when he opened his mouth to explain. "No, it's ok. I know. That's why tonight was going to be special. I was going to talk to her. She doesn't really know how I feel, and I..." She looked away from him and stared at the floor. "I just need her to know, you know. She's been there for me all this time. In her crazy gold limo, and her dramatic speeches. You wouldn't think we'd make a match, but underneath it all..."

"... you're the same." Heero's eyes were unfocused. "And she gets you, like—"

"Yeah, like she can read my mind." Relena was nodding. "But it's impossible, because we're so different." Relena laughed to herself, the swearing. "It's like, she's always swearing and yet you look at her and she's like the most polite thing in the world." Relena's laugh turned fond, as she leant forward, "And like she's got this thing, where she likes to think she knows what everyone wants. We were sitting in the office the other day, and this dignitary from ..." She reached up to wipe a tear from her eyes, the memory funny even now. "I don't even know where and Dorothy was just freaking him out, finishing his sentences..."

She started to laugh harder and Heero smiled, not really finding the story funny, but pleased to see how Relena's face was lit up.

"And he's going batshit crazy but she's right, and she's doing her whole thing and I'm trying so hard to keep up and not laugh and try to take this man seriously, but she just..." Relena paused, her voice warm. The smile on her face was carefree. "She just kept being Dorothy, like—" She waved a hand, searching for the words. "You know. Like, Dorothy." The smile faded a bit, and she met Heero's eyes. "I mean..."

He nodded, he looked up. "I know. Duo's like that. Just being like Duo."

The smile on her face sobered. "I never thought it would be a thing, you know a thing where I actually want her." Relena touched her chest, pressing her palm against her heart. "But then it got difficult and confusing. I mean, I'm not like her. I'm not..." She frowned suddenly. "I'm not good with words like she is. She's so fast and clever, and I'm so ... so..."

"Stuck?" He offered. Her eye locked with her and she nodded absently. She got up on her knees and leant forward on both hands. She moved closer to him, eyes searching his face.

"Stuck. I'm so stuck." Her eyes were wide. He nodded with her. She bit a lip and continued. "She has this ability, I don't know what it is. She knows me, not the Queen of the World, not the Only Hope for Peace, not the Foreign Minister Darlian, not even the Peacecraft Princess of Sanq... She knows me, Relena. Just Relena." Relena sank back on her heels, and pressed her hand against her heart again. "To her, I'm more than just this-this..."

"Machine?" She nodded hesitantly, as he spoke. Heero's blue eyes were warm, his voice fond. "I know that, I know what you mean."

"All though the war, I was this thing that everyone used. I felt like I was some kind of—"

"A weapon."

"Yeah, and I couldn't feel anything." She smiled faintly, "I mean I couldn't feel anything for myself. All I could feel was this need for peace, and I had to be focused on getting there. I was all about—"

"The mission." He looked up again. "Nothing else mattered. Not even—"

"Me." Relena ran her hand through her hair. She blinked. "I know you see me, Heero. But that's because you know what it's like." She worried her skirt in her hands for a moment, creasing the material. "Dorothy sees me, I lov—like her for it." She dipped her head, her voice small, "No, I've got to be honest about it. I love her for it. I just don't know... When it got to be so..." She looked up to meet Heero's eyes, "She's there when I need her, don't get me wrong, but I ... I kinda need her there at times when ..." She waved her hand around in circles. She looked at Heero, "Do you know what that's like? "

"Somewhat." Heero admitted quietly. He stood and rolled his shoulders. "It's going to get better." He walked around the lift to come sit beside her. "Have you tried anything else?"

"Like Duo's patent Tie-Them-Up-And-Doing-Them model?" She shook her head, "She sees me so clearly, why can't she see how much I... I love her? Should I just tie her up and do her?" Relena pulled her knees up and wrapped her arms around her legs. "It's apparently clearly what I need to do to get you to get me."

"Told you about that, did he?" Heero's voice was vaguely amused.

"Said it works like a charm." She looked at him, "I suppose he thinks us hooking up is a good idea."

"Seemed like it when we were 15." Heero replied with a shrug. "I don't know what he was thinking."

"Maybe he thinks you need someone." She raised an eyebrow, a frown on her face, "Wait. Do I look lonely?" She rolled her eyes, "Just thinks he can fix everyone, doesn't he? Well, what about him? Who's he bonking?" She looked at her watch and growled, "Damnit, I'm going to kill him." Heero raised an arm and put it around her shoulders. She looked at him, eyes softening. "Heero, I know he means well, but we..."

"I know." He pressed his head against hers and hugged her lightly. "I'm glad for you." She was surprised by the warmth in his voice, and looked at him with wide eyes. His gaze was far away again, and his voice dipped to a whisper. "I know what it's like. And you're so brave. Tonight, you're going to be braver than me."

The intimacy of the moment surprised her greatly. He was so close to her, and she couldn't understand what he was doing. She stared into his eyes for a long moment and moved her hand to clasp his. "What...?"

"There's got to be a point when we've got to get out." He said; a fond expression appeared on his face. She flushed as he continued. "Therefore there has got to be a point where it becomes necessary to get us out." His eye flicked toward the ceiling. "There are cameras in the lift." She began to tilt her head, but his fingers captured her chin. "Don't." He continued talking to her. "Relena, I want out of this lift. Duo's method of tying people up and doing them means he's not going to budge until we force his hand. I want to get you to Dorothy. I'm going to get you out of here."

And with that, Heero kissed her.

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><p>The doors opened with a ping, and Duo's grin was bright.<p>

"Whoa! Sorry about the wait!" He crowed smugly, "But I'm sure you two found something to—"

Relena grabbed his tie and dragged him nose-to-nose with her. He was surprised by both the violence of the move and anger in her eyes.

"You fucking pompous asshole."

Relena glared at him before releasing him, stepping past him and speedily moving out of the entrance hall. Duo's bright grin faded somewhat as she desperately hailed a cab and jumped in without some much of a backward glance. He turned to look at Heero who was watching Relena leave. Heero raised a hand to massage the back of his own neck tiredly. He looked bemused. He loosened his Preventer's tie.

"What about you?" Duo sounded puzzled. "I mean, didn't you two...?"

"You're off your game." Heero shook his head, and stretched out the kinks in his shoulders. "This isn't one of your tragic love novels."

"You kissed her, why she leaving you behind? Why am I a pompous fucking asshole?" Duo sounded genuinely confused. Heero was sure it must have felt strange for the former Deathscythe pilot to be so wrong about something he had been convinced about. "That was the perfect Plot, What Plot? What went wrong?"

"Because I'm not the one she needs." Heero walked towards the exit. "I kissed her because I knew you were watching for it."

Duo gaped at him for a long moment before jogging to catch up. "You mean she really didn't want to—"

"No, she really didn't want to tie me up and do me." Heero turned toward him, walking backwards still toward the exit. "She's a friend, Duo, she's not my type."

"But you sigh!" Duo punched his hands on his hips, frustration in his voice. "In the FREAKING LAZYBOY!"

Heero shook his head and turned around again, his strides lengthening. "She's not the one I'm sighing over."

Duo jogged after Heero and caught up with the other man as he stood waiting for the lift to the garage. Duo rocked on his heels. Heero watched him out of the corner of his eye. He could see the former pilot analysing and plotting. Duo was so proud of ability to hook people up. The lift pinged and the doors slid open. Duo bounced on into the lift. Heero followed at a more sedate pace, making up his own mind. As usual, Duo was impatient and jabbed at the lift doors. Heero leaned calmly against the back wall and smiled.

Just as the doors began to close on them, Heero drew a breath. He darted forward and slipped through the doors. Duo's face was shocked as Heero stepped up close to the doors with a reckless smile. Laughing blue eyes bore directly into wide violet eyes.

"You idiot. You broke the wrong lift."

The doors closed.

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><p><em>He will always be the one who will always miss the hints<em>


End file.
